


Foolish Heart

by kawenaaa



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A very cliche love story, Angst??, Ben is oblivious and an asshole, F/M, Modern Setting, Rey has a crush, Will contain smut in later chapters, Will have a happy ending so don't worry too much, You will hate Ben but oh well, fake dating au, they're in university
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:53:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23921131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawenaaa/pseuds/kawenaaa
Summary: Rey fell for him the first moment she laid eyes on him, but he had no idea who she was. She was okay with admiring from afar, until suddenly he wasn’t so far.Ben didn't care if he used her, he just wanted to get what he was promised. He didn't think about the consequences, and how in the end it'd be too late.Fake Dating AU where Rey has a huge crush on the guy that shows up to the library during her shifts, and he's dared into dating the cute girl working at the university library so he can snag an internship.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 27
Kudos: 126





	1. Treat You Right

**Author's Note:**

> When Reylo takes over your life that you feel the need to write about them. I hope you all like this story, it was something that was in the back of my mind and I decided to type it out. Story title named after Steve Perry's hit "Foolish Heart", an 80s classic. I pictured Ben and Rey being a few years apart, maybe she's in her early twenties while he's in his middle/late twenties. Anyways. A huge thanks to my awesome co-worker for supporting me and proof reading this story, I'll buy you food next time I see you. First chapter named after Honne's song "Treat You Right", one of my favorite artists. Enjoy!

Rey was certain she was in love with him. She had fought herself on this who knows how many times in the past couple months. She didn’t want to acknowledge it, she didn’t want to believe that it could be a possibility, it couldn’t be. But the way he walked around the library, carrying what seemed like too many books for one person to handle, it made her mouth dry.

_Could he carry me like that?_ She’d wondered.

Or the way he would run his fingers through his long dark hair, seemingly frustrated at the books he’d be reading, typing with frustration edged into every surface of his beautiful face.

He had such a unique face, and his body was so huge. She wondered what it would feel like to hug him. If he would crush her with his huge frame, or if he would be gentle, allowing his face to dip down into her neck, his long hair falling onto her shoulders.

She had only heard his voice once, and it was enough to make her insides burn. It had been late into the evening and she was working the late shift. She had finally begun to focus on her own homework when she heard him. His phone had vibrated against the wooden library tables, and he answered it with a hushed whisper, not wanting to garner anyone’s attention, but she was close enough to hear.

_“What do you want?... Yeah… I’ll be there after I submit this paper. No… don’t order me anything, you’ll fuck up my order on purpose... whatever. See you soon.”_

It was soft, but deep. It was unlike anything she had ever heard. It made him seem so much more… mysterious. And she clung onto every word he said, breathless.

At first, she was upset over the fact that he had joked so much with someone over the phone, her stomach did little flips and she had felt jealousy creeping in. Of course he had someone. It was obvious. He was gorgeous, and she was just… well, she wasn’t anything special. She was sure he had many women falling to their knees at his feet.

But she was relieved to find a man barging in half an hour later, running up to him. He was a tall man, looked about her age and had red hair. She studied him as he went up to the man sitting at the table, still focused on his assignments, “Ben, there you are! Let’s go, I’m tired of waiting outside and I’m hungry.”

She figured this was the man that he had spoken to over the phone with earlier.

_Ben._

The name seemed to fit him, she decided.

He left, annoyed but glad to have been freed of his work. She assumed that if this red haired man hadn’t come to get him himself he probably would have stayed there forever. He seemed like the type of man to throw himself into his work, intelligent and focused. It only made her fall for him further

_I wonder what kind of man you are, Ben._

*

This went on for a couple more weeks. She would study him, and he would pay no attention. It was as if he was blind to it. She figured she was okay with this, it allowed her to openly stare at him. He never once looked her way though; he never needed help finding any of his textbooks or assistance with locating a certain article.

She had hoped in the beginning that he would. Maybe if he looked at her, he’d see something in her that no one else had. He’d be interested, but he never did. She figured that it was for the best. There was nothing wrong with her admiring him from afar. This was enough for her.

There were so many things wrong with her. She was not like normal women and she has attachment issues, she was insecure. No man would be open to that and she had already decided a long time ago that she was okay with living her life alone.

She had one close friend, Finn. She meet him in high school, and they had clicked instantly when they were assigned as lab partners in their chemistry class. He was the only person that tried to understand her, and he was there for her when she needed someone. Growing up the way she did, it had been hard for her. She was thrown from one foster home to another, never being able to fully settle or have normal relationships with her peers at school. Towards the end, she was moved to a foster home in Brooklyn and attended her last year of high school there, where she met Finn.

He was like a breath of fresh air, and at first it had been hard for her to open up to him. Eventually they became best friends, and she opened up about her past, never leaving behind the cruel details. He had been by her side ever since, and she was grateful that they were able to attend the same university together. In the short span of the three years that she’d known him, she knew that they’d never stray from each other.

She was busy reminiscing about her past that she hadn’t even realized that there was someone at the counter. She looked up from her textbook, getting ready to open up the search bar in the library computer to assist whoever was in front of her in locating what they needed.

“What can I do for –“

Her words cut off when she saw who was at the counter, and she was taken aback. It was him. He actually needed something, and he was looking at her. It was weird, to see him so up close. She concluded that he really was crazy handsome, and he was so _so_ tall.

She quickly regained her composure, trying to keep her voice from wavering, “Uh, can I help you with something?”

He fumbled with something in his hand, “I have to print something out, it’s super important and the printer over there isn’t working,” he gestured to the printers that were available to the students at the university, “Do you mind printing it out for me?”

It was a completely logical request, but it was as if she couldn’t move. After a couple seconds he raised his eyebrow at her and she finally registered that she was just staring and he looked almost confused at her silence, “Oh yeah, yes I can. Um, do you have…”

He seemed to know what she was referring to and shoved the flash drive he was messing with earlier across the counter.

She picked it up with shaky fingers, and plugged it into her work computer, “It’s under the documents titled _‘Application_ _’_. I just need one copy.” he informed her as she was opening up his files. She nodded and smiled at him, before finding the document he needed. She opened it up, quickly seeing the document and noting that at the top it said _Ben Solo_. Not wanting to be seen as nosy, she quickly printed it out and closed the document, ejecting the flash drive and handing it back to him.

She stood up and walked over to the printer a few feet behind her, feeling his eyes on her. She grabbed the document and walked back, handing it to him, “Here you go.”

He took it from her and nodded his head, “Thank you, have a nice evening.”

He turned around and began walking towards the exit, before she finally muttered more to herself than anyone, “Yeah, you too.”

*

“Rey… Rey… REY.”

“Huh? Oh, what did you say?”

She was currently sitting with Finn at a coffee shop across campus. They usually met there together a couple times during the week. It was hard to meet up with him outside of school, but today they had decided to meet up and bring some of their assignments and work together.

“I was asking you if you’re thinking about doing that extra credit assignment that Professor Dameron gave us?” he repeated, twirling his pencil through his fingers.

Her and Finn were both studying Mechanical Engineering, which was something that she found was amazing considering they had almost every class together. The extra credit assignment he mentioned was something that she wanted to do, but she probably wouldn’t have the time.

“No, probably not.”

“Wow, that’s not like you. What’s up Peanut?”

Rey sighed; the nickname Finn gave her when they first became friends slightly lifting her mood, “It’s nothing.”

Finn looked at her accusingly, “Yeah, I do not believe that for a second.”

Rey closed her textbook, knowing that there was no way she would be able to focus with so much on her mind, “My head is just in the clouds, that’s all.”

“Ahhh,” he said, knowing where she was going, “You mean you can’t stop thinking about Ben.”

“Shhh,” she fumbled over the table, placing her hand over his mouth, “Don’t just say his name out in the open like that!”

He grabbed her wrist, tearing her hand away so he could speak, a smile tugging on his lips, “Why? It’s not like he’s here. Plus there’s like a billion people named Ben, I doubt if someone overheard they’d know who you were talking about.”

She put her hand down in her lap, playing with the bottom of her t-shirt, “Still, saying his name out loud is… weird. He doesn’t even know who I am, yet I’m speaking about him like this.”

“Come on, I’m sure he knows of you! He’s not blind, he sees you every time he walks into the library. He just has yet to go up to you.”

Rey blushed, her mind going back to a certain encounter a few days ago.

Finn seemed to notice, his eyebrows shooting up on his forehead, “What’s that blush for, huh? Did he go up to you? Or – wait! Did _you_ go up to _him_?” He was full on smiling now, not being able to contain his excitement. It warmed her heart to see him so invested in her life, wanting to know.

“No, well-“ she placed her elbow on the table and leaned her head on her hand, “He came up to me a few days ago to print something out for him. That was it, he didn’t even wait for me respond back to him when he said bye before he left.”

Finn scoffed, “That jerk!”

Rey chuckled, letting her gaze wonder outside the window, “Don’t be like that. It’s no big deal. I already accepted the fact that he will never be interested in me a long time ago. It’s not like I was expecting him to fall for me at first sight.”

“You mean the way you did when you first saw him?”

Rey looked over at her best friend, his face suddenly a lot sadder than before. She didn’t like how he looked, how he felt sympathy towards her, “Yeah, like that.” She said softly.

*

“What the fuck.”

The red haired man looked over his computer, eyeing the distressed man in front of him, “What is it?”

Ben signed, running his hands over his face, “They didn’t pick me, for the internship.”

Hux shook his head trying to hide his laugh, “I told you no one liked you.”

Ben punched his friends shoulder, earning a hiss from the red head, “Stop playing around, I told you how important this internship is for me. This is an great firm and if I interned there they would have hired me once I graduated.”

Hux rubbed his shoulder, looking sheepish, “Oh, yeah? What firm is it?”

Not wanting to keep disturbing other people in the library he turned his laptop towards Hux, showing him his rejection letter and how after careful consideration they decided to go with the choice before him. It should have flattered him, knowing that he was a close second, but all it did was make him furious that they even had to include that information in the first place.

“Oh shit.”

Ben looked at the man, seeing his face full with shock, “What is it?”

“Um, well this is funny actually.” He said, rubbing the back of his head nervously, “You see, when you mentioned this firm I decided to apply to the internship as well, thinking I wouldn’t get in. But uh, they actually emailed me a couple days ago and said that I got in.”

“You what?!” Ben was mad now, not caring about the looks thrown his way for his loud outburst. He knew his friend was an asshole, but he didn’t think he would do something as fucked up as this. He really needed to stop hanging out with him, but they were both studying to be lawyers and he figured it wouldn’t be so bad to keep his only high school friend close during college.

“Like I said, I didn’t think they’d even get back to me! When I went in for the interview they didn’t even seem interested so I didn’t think too much of it.”

“Why the hell would you even apply when you knew how badly I wanted it? Hux! Seriously?”

His friend chuckled, obviously amused at his friends outburst now, “Well at least out of us both we know who the better student is.”

Ben cursed, “Decline it, tell them no. I was next in line and if you tell them you don’t want it then I’ll get it.”

Hux straight up laughed this time, “Dude, wow I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this desperate! I’m tempted just to accept it just to piss you off.”

Ben never realized how much of a dick his friend was, but now he knew that he would have to give him something in return if he wanted that internship, “What do I have to do, huh? Want me to set you up with that girl that keeps harassing me? You obviously like her. Or, I’ll do your final essay at the end of the semester.”

“Why, Ben, do you really think I’m that much of a shitty friend that would ask for something in return? What makes you think I won’t just decline out of the kindness of my heart for my dear friend?”

Ben scoffed, “Bullshit. I know you like making my life a living hell. I don’t know why I even put up with you. I should have thrown you to the curb when we graduated high school.”

Hux looked offended, but he really didn’t care what anyone thought of him, much less Ben. He decided to have mercy on him, seeing him like that and knowing that he beat him at something was enough to shove in his face later down the road. Plus, he didn’t care about the internship all that much. He only applied to see if he could do better than his friend.

He contemplated it for a second before something caught his eyes, or really it was _someone._

He knew who she was, he’d see her every time he came to the library and knew she worked there. He also knew that his friend was too oblivious to see the way she looked at him. He was honestly so stupid when it came to women. The girl was cute, and she looked like a shy, fragile thing, “The girl, behind you.”

Ben turned around, looking at the girl arranging the books on a shelf a few yards away from them. He recognized her as the girl that printed off his application for him a few weeks ago, and wondered why Hux even mentioned her, “What about her?” he asked, turning back to face his friend.

“Ask her out and date her.”

Ben had to make sure he was hearing correctly, “W-what?”

Hux laughed and had to duck his head when he saw the girl look over their way, the noise attracting her gaze, “You heard me,” he whispered, “I dare you to ask her out and pretend to be her boyfriend,” and because he was a slimy bastard he added on, “and… you have to sleep with her and show me proof. If you do that, then I’ll decline the internship and you can have it,” He almost lost it when his friend paled, looking so shocked that he couldn’t even hold in the noise of surprise that left him.

“You have to be in a relationship with her until the end of the month. That’s the deadline to get back to the firm with my answer. I think you can woo her and put up with her for a few weeks, don’t you think?”

“Hux,” Ben started, “You’re crazy. You know how much I hate dating, and you’re making me sleep with her? I mean,” he turned back around to glance at her, “look at her. She looks practically homeless.” He muttered.

“Well then, looks like I’ll accept the internship and you can look for a job after you graduate elsewhere!” he started gathering his things, preparing to leave.

His movements were haltered when Ben grabbed on to his arm over the table, “Wait!” he said in a hurry, contemplating what to do before once again glancing at the poor girl behind him. It’s not that he didn’t want to play her, he could care less about other peoples feelings, he just was not looking forward having to date her. He knew he could date around, he was good looking, but it wasn’t something he was interested in. If all he had to do was sleep with her than at least he could get through that.

Finally he shook his head and made up his mind. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

Hux tugged his arm away and flung his backpack around his shoulders before grinning, “I’m aware.”


	2. Like Knives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the few readers that liked the first chapter! This update is for you. This chapter is named after City and Colour's song "Like Knives" because yeah this is gonna hurt.

Her alarm woke her up and she groaned at the annoying sound, reaching over to her bedside table and hitting it until it stopped screaming. She flopped back on her bed, nuzzling her face into the deep comfort of her pillow.

It was Thursday. She had one of her classes with Finn today and that made forcing herself to get up a little easier. She grabbed her toiletries and made her way to the showers. She lived in the dorms on campus, apartments were too expensive and she was lucky enough that her scholarship covered her living arrangements.

After finishing, she wrapped herself up in her towel and shuffled her way down the hallway back into her dorm room. She shared it with a girl named Rose who was also an engineering major. She was almost never in the dorm except when she was sleeping, as she had a busy group of friends and was always too preoccupied with her studies and internship. Rey was fine with never seeing her; they were civil with each other but not close or anything.

She opened her closet, studying the small amount of clothes that she owned. She was never the one to dress up, and she’d owned the same clothes for as long as she could remember. She settled on a basic t-shirt with some leggings, throwing her favorite cardigan over it since she knew it’d be a little cooler today. She only had one pair of shoes, they were beat up but oh so comfortable. They were a pair of black slip on sneakers that Finn had gifted to her about a year and a half ago. She chuckled at the memory now, remembering how Finn had taken her to the mall and sat down with her while the salesman measured her feet because _“Jesus Rey, this whole time you’ve been wearing shoes that are too small for you!”_

She never really realized. Growing up, she wore whatever was given to her. After moving out and starting university, she had started developing her own style. It was just casual and comfortable, and she mostly wore neutral colors that helped her blend in.

She brushed through her hair, deciding to leave it down instead of braiding it like how she usually did. It was longer now, down to the middle of her back. Usually she’d never let it get that long, but she wanted to save the money she’d use for a haircut.

She hated to admit it, but ever since she saw Ben she had begun to wear makeup. She had Rose teach her one night after they had finished studying, so she knew how to put on a little foundation and blush. She liked to think that she had pretty skin, but she knew how makeup was a big deal, especially in college. All the pretty girls wore it, and at first she hoped that Ben would have taken notice, but he never did. After the first couple weeks she stuck with it, liking how she looked and kept using it.

She left half past 8am, already dreading her class. She took her time walking across campus, and eventually arrived and sat next to Finn who was already there.

“Morning Peanut,” he greeted her with a smile, passing over a coffee.

“Oh my god,” she nearly ripped it out of his hand, taking a long sniff at the aroma before taking a small sip since it was still hot, “You’re awesome. Thank you.”

“I figured that you’d need it to get your day started, you have the night shift at the library today right?” He asked while taking out his notebooks.

She nodded, “Yeah, it won’t be so bad. I have plenty of homework to help pass the time.” she added with a smile.

He nudged her with his elbow, “And I’m sure you’re looking forward to seeing _you know who_.”

Rey groaned, hiding her face in her hands. They had agreed not to say his name on campus due to the fact that she was super paranoid about anyone finding out about her crush, “Don’t remind me. Every time I see him… I don’t know. I just wish he’d notice me. But at the same time I don’t. I don’t know what to do.”

“Rey, have you thought about going up to him yourself? Some guys like when girls make the first move, they dig the confidence. I say you should introduce yourself. You say you don’t want him to notice you but I know for a fact you doll yourself up just for him.”

She looked at him with bewilderment, ignoring his last comment “Finn that’s a horrible idea!”

Finn rolled his eyes, “No it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. Firstly, I am not confident in the slightest. Secondly, I’m sure he’d laugh in my face, I don’t think I’d be able to talk to him without stumbling on my words. I think it’s best for me just to try and get over him.”

“I get that you want to try to get over him, but why would you do that when you don’t even know how he feels yet? Like I said, I still think you should give it a shot.” And with that the professor walked in, leaving her to ponder Finn’s words.

He had a point, but she wasn’t about to take his advice. Rey had already thought about that a hundred times, and it always led her to the same conclusion. She was not the person for relationships, it scared her and was something she didn’t want to have to worry about. Having Finn was enough, and having a crush was no big deal.

There was the possibility of just having a “friends with benefits” relationship, that way she wouldn’t have to deal with the commitment that comes with an actual relationship, but what if that just made everything worse?

The thought stuck with her all through out the rest of her classes, and by the time she walked out of her last class she realized that she hadn’t paid attention to anything all day. Even when she tried to do her homework later that evening in the library she couldn’t focus, her mind constantly wandering.

She was broken out of her trance when she heard someone clear their throat, and she looked up to see the man that had taken over her thoughts standing on the other side of the counter. He looked nervous and it was so unlike him. Not that she actually knew anything about him, but in all the months that he had been coming to the library, she had learned a little bit about his personality. She forced herself to push her thoughts the other way and stood up to answer him, “Did you need something?”

He cleared his throat again, “Yeah, I can’t find a certain textbook.”

That she could help him with, “Oh sure, do you have the title name and author? I can look it up for you.” She was having a hard time keeping her voice stable, and it was what she had feared. She did not want her voice cracking in front of him, and she was trying so hard not to let the heat rise to her cheeks, showing him any indication that she was nervous.

He pulled out his phone and showed her a picture of the textbook with the author and title, and she quickly typed it into the computer, internally cursing herself for not being able to keep her fingers from shaking. She may have had to re-type the title of the book a few times. Eventually, she got the screen to load and she found what he was looking for, “It looks like it’s on the second floor in section 5, bookshelf number 12. You should be able to find it there.” She added the last part, hoping he would go and leave her to her own misery. If she stayed within distance of him she was going to embarrass herself even more.

“I don’t know where that’s at. Could you show me?”

Oh god, he had to be joking. Either he was too lazy to look for it or thought too highly of himself and wanted her to do it for him.

Well, it was her job and she didn’t want him complaining to her boss later about it, so she nodded and walked around the counter towards the elevator.

It was towards the back of the library, so she made her way through a few bookshelves, Ben right behind her. She wondered if he was looking at her, or if he just didn’t care. She hoped her hair wasn’t a tangled mess; actually, she _knew_ it was a tangled mess and decided that next time she wouldn’t be lazy and actually braid it.

He stood next to her once she was in the elevator and felt trapped once the doors closed. She could feel her heart beating rapidly inside her chest and was afraid that it was so loud that he would hear.

“Are you a student here?” he asked, looking down at her.

She looked up, a little shocked that he had spoken to her. She fumbled with the ends of her cardigan and forced herself to smile, “Yes, I’m studying mechanical engineering.”

His eyes widened, and he raised his eyebrows in amusement almost as if he hadn’t been expecting that, “That’s impressive, what is your status?”

“Oh, I’m a sophomore. Next semester I’ll be a junior.” She added with a genuine smile this time, his complement going straight to her core, “What about you?” she asked feeling a little bold, hoping to keep the conversation going.

He returned his gaze back down to her and placed his hands in his pockets, “Ah... I already graduated a little while ago, right now I’m studying to get my Juris Doctorate.”

The elevator door opened, and they walked out together. He was studying to be a lawyer? She couldn’t believe it, no wonder he was always here studying. She instantly imagined him in a suit, wondering just how handsome he’d look.

She led him through another section of bookshelves before responding, “Oh wow, now _that’s_ impressive. I didn’t even know our university offered a law program where you could get something like that.”

He chuckled, throwing in a soft thank you before they feel into a comfortable silence. Before long they were at the shelf she was looking for. She traced her fingers over the books before finding the one he needed. It was a hefty one, and she had to use both of her hands to get it off the shelf.

“Here you go,” she mumbled before handing it to him. He grabbed it in one hand with ease and she tried not to let that affect her.

The comfortable silence soon became a little awkward then, as they stood in front of each other. She wasn’t sure what to do, and he kept looking at his textbook without acknowledging that she was even there. She figured that was her cue to leave, so she took a couple steps back, heading towards the elevator before he spoke up again, “What – what’s your name?”

She turned around, and found him making a face at his own question. He looked uncomfortable and she herself was nervous with the whole situation.

“Um… It’s Rey.”

He nodded, still messing with the textbook in his hands, “I’m Ben.”

_I know._ She almost said.

_I know who you are. I also know that I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do._

“Nice to meet you.” she managed to breathe out.

He looked down then, before stepping closer to her as she had walked off, “Listen, Rey…” He started and she felt her heart stop in her chest “I know this is sudden but uh, I’d like to get to know you.”

She slowly lifted her hand, and pointed her index finger to herself, “…Me?” she asked, not having the brains at the moment to register how stupid her own question was.

He let out another chuckle, sounded a little more breathless than the last and nodded his head, “Yeah.”

She wasn’t sure how to respond. Was he asking her out? No. He had only said that he wanted to get to know her. But… that could mean anything, right? For all she knew, maybe he wanted to be her friend.

He seemed to be studying her reaction, and he now looked _really_ nervous. After a few more seconds of silence ( _because what the fuck was she suppose to say?)_ he spoke up again, “So yeah… I’d like to you know… ask you out on a date. We could um, go somewhere together? And get to know each other.”

Oh. _Ohhhh._

This… this was not good. He wanted to _date_ her? How could _he_ want to date _her_? But, this is what she wanted, right? She wanted him to notice her. She wanted him to see something different in her, something that made her stand out. Had he seen that? He was interested, so was that what it was? But why did it scare her so much? She had already made up her mind that she would love him from a distance, but now he was asking her out on a date. Never in her short years of living on this earth had anyone ever asked her on a date. Never had anyone told her that _they wanted to get to know her._

She wanted this. She really wanted it. Just him standing there and looking at her, it made her inside crawl with anticipation and she desperately wanted to explore that feeling. She wanted to explore _him_. But… could she? Could she be in a normal relationship? She wanted to keep him, she didn’t want to mess anything up to where she could no longer see him. Before even realizing it, her thoughts betrayed her, “I’ve never done this before.”

He leaned on the bookshelf a little, processing her words, “Never done this… like you’ve never gone on a date?”

She started messing with her cardigan again, and looked down before nodding, knowing that her face was flushed.

She heard him sigh in what sounded like _frustration?_ Was he frustrated that she had never gone on a date? Or maybe, he was looking for someone to keep his bed warm at night and was frustrated that she was inexperienced with anything like this? She suddenly felt insecure, and wished he hadn’t even asked her, wished he hadn’t even come up to her to begin with. She was fine loving him from afar, why did he have to go on and ruin her pining?

“That’s okay.” She heard him say.

She looked up, and saw that he was just as red as she was. He looked even more nervous that before, and she softened at how beautiful he looked with his cheeks flushed.

“I like you.”

“You like… me?” She repeated.

“Yeah, I do.” She followed his movements. He moved to put the textbook back on the shelf where she had gotten it for him, before stepping even closer to her, “So? Will you go on a date with me?” He asked once again, softly.

There was no way she could say no. She would never be able to live with herself if she’d let this opportunity go. She wanted this and she wanted him. So, before she even seconded guessed herself she said, “Okay.”

*

Studying at home was not ideal for Ben. It was hard for him to focus but there was no way he’d be going back to the library. No way.

He closed his laptop, not even trying to focus anymore and took out his phone to check the time.

He had his date with Rey in an hour and a half.

She was a lot cuter up front, but wasn’t the type of girl that would grab his attention though, which is probably why he never even noticed her to begin with. In the short time that he had spoken with her in the library he noticed a few things about her. She was shy and she obviously kept to herself. She seemed to be wary of him too, almost declining when he had asked her for her number. Not that he was going to call her or anything, but he wanted to sound believable when he said he liked her, it would have been pretty weird not to ask for it. 

He knew what he was doing was not a good thing, and he knew he was being a jerk. If she ended up developing feelings for him then it would be a mess. But to be honest he didn’t really care that much. He didn’t know her and why would her feelings affect him in the end? And to be fair, she did not seem interested in him either.

He figured she said yes because she didn’t want to be rude, the poor girl looked so uncomfortable when he had asked her out, he almost cringed thinking back on it.

He had to be more believable for her to say yes when he asked her to be his girlfriend.

_Oh god. Girlfriend??_

Just thinking about it put him in a sour mood. He had nothing against her but he was definitely not looking forward to these next three weeks. Would he even be able to get her in bed in that short amount of time? He had no idea how he was suppose to do that when she’d never even gone on a single date with anyone.

Ben had dated around a couple times in high school, but he was never interested enough to keep their relationships going. He was not a man of commitment and hated the idea of being tied down. He had his career to look forward to and he wasn’t about to let some woman get in the way of that. They were nothing but distractions, plus they were super annoying and clingy. He hated bringing a girl home and finding out that they’d want to stay the night after sex, and pillow talk was definitely not his thing.

He thought about telling her the truth, and asking her to pretend to date him. Maybe she’d understand and feel sympathy towards him, but he immediately threw that idea out the window. How embarrassing. He was a grown man for crying out loud, how was he suppose to explain to some girl that he’d been blackmailed into dating her? And to sleep with her! Yeah, not happening.

There would be no way that she’d get attached to him in three weeks, no way. At least, he hoped she wouldn’t.

_Just convince her to be your girlfriend and get her to trust you enough to sleep with you, that’s it._

He dressed with a sense of dread looming over his shoulder. It had been a couple days since he last spoke with her, and they had agreed that dinner was a good idea as far as first dates go. Ben hadn’t been on a real date in a while, but he knew how to make women interested so he was confident. It was ironic really, needing her to fall for him enough to date and have sex with him, but at the same time not wanting her to develop feelings and end up clinging on to him.

He sighed while shrugging his jacket on. He took a last look in the mirror and grabbed his keys and wallet before heading out the door.

After settling in his car he drove to the dorms that were on campus. When arriving he saw her immediately. She was outside and was conversing with another man. She hadn’t seen him pull up, and she looked like she was actually having an argument with the guy. He rolled his eyes and turned off his engine, stepping out of his car to walk up towards her.

“No, quit it! Finn, please don’t. He’s going to – “

Her words cut off when she saw him walk up, and he noticed that she was very flustered. What had been going on?

“Hi Rey,” he started before turning on boyfriend mode and throwing a glare at the guy she was arguing with, “Is everything okay?”

The man who he presumed to be Finn immediately looked offended. Who was this guy?

“Everything,” Finn said, “is fine. Who are you?”

He was just about to throw some remark towards the guy before Rey spoke up, “Finn, this is _Ben_. You know… my date.”

Finn’s eyes went wide and he looked Ben up and down before looking back at Rey and throwing her some kind of look. He turned back to Ben and held out his hand, “I’m Finn, Rey’s best friend,” He said while they shook hands.

_Oh god. She has a best friend who is obviously super protective. You sure know how to pick em, Hux._

“Nice to meet you,” he threw his fake smile back on and tried to make a good impression before looking back at Rey, “Are you ready to go?”

“Uh, yeah let’s go.” She threw another look towards her friend’s way and followed Ben back to his car before getting in.

Once on the road he turned to look at her. She was dressed fairly nice, but not too over the top. They weren’t going anywhere fancy, and somehow without telling her where they were going she managed to look just the part. Her hair that had been down the last time he saw her was braided and flung over her shoulder. It wasn’t an ordinary braid, and Ben wondered how long it took her to do it since it looked pretty nice, “You’re hair isn’t down today.” He said.

He seemed to have caught her by surprise as her hands instantly moved to her hair, and she started to run her fingers over her braid, “Yeah, I tend to braid it often since it’s so thick. It bothers me when it’s down.”

He hummed and decided that he should start raining down the compliments, “It’s pretty. And you look beautiful.”

He gave himself a mental clap on the back when he saw her smile, and figured that maybe this wouldn’t be so hard.

He changed his mind when he realized later at dinner that _oh, this is going to be very hard._

The whole time they’d been at dinner, she’d hardly look at him and she had barely touched her food.

He had tried to make small talk with her, but it was proving to be a total disaster. He cleared his throat and she looked up at him, shy and tentative. When she looked at him like that, he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Her innocence was actually quite attractive, and he realized that _she was actually pretty cute to look at._

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me, Rey.”

She lifted her hand to play with the straw that was in her drink, “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you. I’m uh, just a little nervous is all.”

She was nervous? Well, he rather her be nervous around him than uncomfortable, “Are you nervous because it’s your first time out with a guy?”

She pondered over his question for a whole, before nodding her head, “Yes.” She looked like she wanted to say something else, but before he had too much time to dwell on that she spoke up again, “I’m sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting, or if I wasn’t what you were expecting.”

He inwardly sighed, already annoyed with her response. She was insecure and he was not ready to deal with that. He moved his hand over the table, and reached for her own hand that was messing with her drink. He laced their fingers together and put on his acting face, “Rey, don’t think like that. I asked you out because I like you. I’m a little nervous too, but that doesn’t mean we can’t open up to each other.”

_Please, dear god, don’t open up to me. I really don’t care._

She flushed again and smiled before pulling her hand away and messing with the bottom of her dress, “Thank you, Ben.”

He smiled back at her, feeling relieved that she didn’t go on about her issues like he thought she would’ve. Maybe fake dating her wouldn’t be so bad.

“So,” she spoke up, “What made you want to be a lawyer?”

He was pleased that she shifted the conversation back to something he was actually interested in, “My mother is a lawyer, and when I was younger I always looked up to her. It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time and I like how rigorous it is.”

She hummed before taking a sip of her drink, “But it’s a lot of work though, isn’t it?”

“It is, but,” he chuckled and added with a flirty tone, “engineering is hard too, don’t you think?”

She rolled her eyes and he found himself interested in her response, “Yes, very. I like to keep my mind busy and engineering does that for me. It’s challenging, and nothing about it is easy but regardless, I enjoy studying it.”

They rest of the evening went by smoothly, and they found themselves settling in an easygoing conversation about their studies. Towards the end, Ben almost didn’t feel like he was on a date. Instead he felt like he was just conversing with a friend. If only they could leave their relationship at this point, he would have been okay with it. But he had ulterior motives, so he asked for the check and drove her back to the dorms.

She was just as shy when he walked her to the front of the dorm entrance, and she didn’t seem like she was expecting him to give her a goodbye kiss or anything, content with him just accompanying her to the door. He can’t say it didn’t surprise him, but he didn’t want to push it. In the end he said goodbye with the promise of seeing her again and she walked inside with a small smile and a faint blush on her freckled cheeks.

Once he was home in the confinement of his apartment, he threw himself on his bed and concluded that the night was a win. If the next three weeks went as smoothly as tonight, he would be accepting that internship in no time.

He took out his phone, and just because he was in a good mood decided to shoot her a message.

_Ben (9:56pm): I enjoyed tonight._

_Rey (9:59pm): Me too_

_Ben (10:01pm): I want to see you again. Can I?_

_Rey (10:06pm): I’d like that_

_Ben (10:07pm): Tomorrow. Be ready, around noon._

_Rey (10:09pm): Okay_ __

And with that, Ben went to sleep, blissfully content and dreaming about his first day at his internship.


	3. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks for being patient with this update. Even though we're in quarantine life is just as hectic, if not more. Anyways, I hope you all like this chapter (Also excuse the typos cause I'm a little too lazy rn). Chapter named after Lauv's song "Feelings"

Rey was getting ready for her second date with Ben when she heard a knock on her door.

“How did you get into the building?” she asked when she opened the door to reveal Finn with his backpack.

“I snuck in.” he answered nonchalantly as he stepped into her dorm room.

Rey closed the door behind her and followed Finn who threw himself on her bed, “Uh yeah, but how? You don’t have access to the building.”

“Rey, you doubt my abilities.”

She rolled her eyes and went back to brushing her hair, “Well what are you doing here anyways?”

“Do you not see my backpack?” he asked while gesturing to his bag on the floor, “We made plans to study today for Dameron’s test.”

“Oh crap, Finn I totally forgot!”

“Yeah, obviously. Where are you going all dolled up like that?” he looked her up and down before perking up on her bed, “Wait! Don’t tell me you’re going on another date with Ben.”

“As a matter of fact, I am. And thanks for asking how our first date went, by the way.” She said with a hint of bitterness in her tone.

“Yeah, well to be honest I wasn’t really looking forward to hearing about it,” he muttered.

Rey put her brush down and turned around to face him, “Why? I thought as my best friend you’d care about how it went. You know how much I like him.”

He shrugged, “Well I got a weird vibe from him.”

“A weird vibe?” she sat down next to him.

“Peanut,” Finn started, “You know I love you, and I want you to be happy.”

Rey furrowed her brows, “But…?”

Finn hesitated, “But I don’t exactly like the guy.”

“Finn, you barely met him.”

“Yeah and I was not impressed but what I saw. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about him, I can just feel it.”

“Listen, Finn. You know better than anyone that I do not trust people easily.”

“I know, Rey.”

Rey winced, knowing that anytime Finn used her name he was being serious, “So then you have to _trust me._ You know that I can take care of myself, and I like Ben. We had a great time at dinner and he seems really interested in me. I… I find myself wanting to open up to him, and that’s rare. I think we may actually have something.”

She had a pleading look in her eyes, and Finn shook his head, “Look,” he said, grabbing her hand and holding it in his, “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“But you’re the one that insisted on me putting myself out there first.”

“That’s before I met him.”

She pulled her hand out of his and got up, “Finn, you can either sit there and worry about me, or you can help me pick out an outfit. It’s up to you.” She said putting her hands on her hips.

Finn knew that he had lost this battle, but he still couldn’t shake the worry away. Regardless, he stood up and looked at his best friend. She looked happy, and excited. He liked her that way and decided he would save this argument for next time.

“Alright, show me what you were thinking about wearing.”

*

Rey sat at the bench, enjoying the breeze ruffling through her loose hair. Finn had helped her in braiding it, much to her surprise. It was partly down save for a few braids weaving through her long waves.

_“You look like you could rule a kingdom with your hair done like that. You know, like Narnia or something?”_

She was grateful for him. It was obvious that he did not want to leave when she had asked him to, needing to finish getting ready. She understood his worry, but she figured he’d be like that towards any guy. She didn’t dwell too much on it.

She kicked a rock that was on the ground, feeling the rock hit her toes as she did so. She was still trying to break in the sandals she bought for her first date with Ben. They hurt her a little, but they were better than her worn out sneakers.

Her and Ben had agreed to meet the park. She pulled out her phone to check the time, wondering if she was early.

“Rey.”

She looked up to see Ben standing in front of her. He looked handsome as always, and she had to force herself not to melt under his gaze. His hair was styled as usual and he was wearing black jeans with a gray t-shirt with their university logo. She wondered how in the world she had gotten so lucky to see him up close like this.

“Hi.” she said as she stood up from the bench.

He smiled at her and began walking towards the food stands a few yards away, “Did you wait long?”

“No, I just got here.”

“Oh, good. Do you want to get something to eat?” he gestured towards the food stands.

She nodded, “Yeah! I’ve actually never eaten any food from these before.”

“Really? In that case you better prepare yourself because the food from every single one of these stands is amazing.”

Rey smiled, “That one looks good.” She pointed at one to her left.

Ben grabbed her hand, “Then let’s go,” he said while pulling her towards it.

He held her hand until he had to pay for their food. Even when they were sitting at a nearby table to eat she couldn’t seem to stop her heart from beating out of her chest. She wondered if he noticed how red her face was. She would have to learn to control herself around him. She grabbed her iced drink and put it against one of her cheeks, hoping it would calm her down a bit.  
  


“You okay?”

Rey nodded, “It’s just a little warm out here.” She lied.

“Do you want to go ahead and go?”

“Where are we going?”

Ben stood up and threw their trash away at a nearby trashcan, “I was thinking we could go to the aquarium down a few blocks away.”

“The a-aquarium?”

“Yeah,” He said while grabbing her hand, “Did you want to go somewhere else?”

She shook her head in a rush, “No! The aquarium sounds perfect. I’ve just never been to one before.”

“Wait, are you serious? You never went to one with your parents when you were younger?”

Rey looked down at their linked hands, “Never.”

She felt him pull her out of the park and she looked up to see him watching her, “Then you’re going to love it.”

She felt her heart burst, “Yeah?”

He nodded, “Yeah.”

She lost herself in an easy conversation with him as they walked, and couldn’t stray her mind from the fact that he was still holding her hand. She wondered how they looked to other people. Did they look like a couple?

_A couple?_

They weren’t really dating, and Rey found herself wanting to date him. She wanted to belong to him, and she wanted him to belong to her. She wondered if he wanted her as his girlfriend. She wasn’t sure if she’d be a good one, but for the first time in her life she found herself wanting to try. She wanted to be in a relationship with him where he’d call her before bed to tell her goodnight. Where they could go shopping together and laugh. Where they could hold on to each other late hours into the night. She wanted that, and it scared her but it also excited her.

They arrived to the aquarium and Rey was fascinated by everything. She had never had the opportunity to go as a kid due to obvious reasons, and once she started college she didn’t think of anything outside her studies. She had no idea how amazing aquariums were.

“Oh my gosh, this is awesome.” She mumbled to herself.

Ben smiled beside her, “I told you that you’d love it.”

Rey couldn’t tear her eyes away from the fish around her, and found herself overwhelmed by her emotions, “This moment is one that I’ll cherish for as long as I’ll live.”

*

Ben followed Rey everywhere she went. They were there together but she had hardly paid attention to him. She was all over the place and at times he had to run to keep up with her.

It was unlike anything he had ever experienced.

_“This moment is one that I’ll cherish for as long as I’ll live.”_

He didn’t think she had meant for him to hear her, but he did and he didn’t know how to feel about it.

He hadn’t thought about it too much when he decided to take bring her here, he figured it would be an easy date, and he had always enjoyed aquariums since he was a little boy.

He was shocked when she had told him that she’d never been to one before, and he found it a little strange as he thought everyone had been to one at least once in their life.

She was interesting, that was for sure.

“Ben look!”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he walked to where she was. He looked to see where she was pointing, and found that she was smiling over the jellyfish that were swimming around her.

“It’s so amazing, being able to see all of this. Thank you for bringing me here.”

He tore his gaze from the jellyfish and looked at her. She was trying to hide a shy smile. She looked genuinely happy and he was taken aback by her thanks.

“O-oh yeah, you’re welcome.”

Never in his life had anyone thanked him for taking them somewhere. It’s not like it was a huge deal.

He looked back at her and studied her face. She was gazing back at the jellyfish, lifting one of her hands to brush some hair behind her ear. It was down today, but it still had a few braids in it. It was such a strange style; Ben had never seen anyone wear their hair like that. It was beautiful really, and he wanted to tell her but couldn’t find the strength to say it.

_You’re doing this for one reason and one reason only. Don’t get distracted._

He cleared his throat and decided that it was the right time to ask. It had to be now, he couldn’t loose anymore time.

“Rey, I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Hmm?”

She wasn’t looking at him, and he was grateful. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to ask if she were looking at him.

“I want you to be my girlfriend.”

He was still watching her, and he saw her eyes widen a little.

She was quite, and he could tell that she was thinking. He got a little nervous then. This girl was the only thing standing in the way of his internship. He needed her to say yes, and he wasn’t sure what to do if she rejected him.

She turned and looked at him then, the blue hue from the water surrounding them painting her skin, “That wasn’t exactly a question, Ben.”

She had a playful glint in her eyes, yet she still seemed a little shy. He hadn’t expected that.

He chuckled and shook his head, “I guess it wasn’t, huh?”

“You know,” she started, “You’ve been really forward with me ever since we met. You told me you liked me five minutes into knowing me, and now on our second date you’ve asked me to be your girlfriend.”

She was serious now, and he wondered if he was being too obvious, “I just… you know. I like you a lot.” He said a little pathetically. He was trying hard to seem confident, but she was studying him so hard that he felt as if she knew what his real intentions were, almost as if she could see right through him.

“So you’ve told me.”

Ben took a deep breath and stepped towards her. He grabbed both of her hands and held them tight as he looked at her. He focused on trying to seem believable, and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

He knew it was a bold move, but he also knew that he made the right choice based on the flush on her checks and the way her fingers tightened around his.

_Okay, just keep going._

“Rey, you’re beautiful. When I first saw you, you blew me away. No one has ever captivated me like how you did. We’ve only known each other a few days, but the few moments we’ve spent with each other have been great for me. I enjoy being with you, and I want to continue doing so. I want you to be my girlfriend.”

He leaned down and knocked his forehead against hers, earning himself a giggle from her. It was cute, and knew he had her, “What do you say?”

She bit her lip and he found himself staring at the freckles adorning her cheeks. He placed one of his hands on the curve of her lower back and tried not to think about how nice it felt.

“I’ll only say yes if…”

“If?” he asked a little hurriedly.

She took a deep breath and spoke so softly that he almost didn’t hear her, “If you promise not to hurt me.”

_…Um, what?_

Of course he was going to hurt her. He was going to dump her by the end of the month.

_You really are an idiot, Ben._

“If you really like me, and if you really want me to be your girlfriend, then I need you to promise that you will never purposely hurt me.”

“I-I promise, Rey.” He felt his stomach drop, “I’ll never hurt you.”

His answer came out slower than he intended, and he wasn’t sure if she actually believed him.

He felt her pull away and he panicked for a split second, thinking she was going to say no and walk away.

She surprised him when she went back to watching the jellyfish. He stood next to her and shuffled on his feet, growing more nervous as time passed.

“I’d really like to be your girlfriend, Ben.” He heard her whisper.

He let out a sigh of relief, not meaning it to be as loud as it was. She laughed at his reaction and slowly moved her hand to hold onto his again.

Her hands felt tiny against his.

He tried to ignore the guilt looming over his head.

*

“Ben!”

He turned around to see Hux running towards him, “Oh fuck.” He wondered if he’d be late to class. Shit always happened when Hux was around.

“Have you been ignoring me?” Hux asked once he caught up to him.

“Me? Ignore you? Of course not.” He said sarcastically.

Hux rolled his eyes and began walking along side Ben, “Sooo…”

“Spit it out Hux. What do you want?”

Hux shrugged, “I was just wondering how things were going with the cute little librarian.”

“I’m sure you’d be happy to know that I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes.” He shot back, already annoyed.

“Oh damn! That was fast. So when are you going to introduce me to her?”

Ben stopped in his tracks, “And why the fuck would I do that?”

Hux gave him a funny look, “Why so protective Ben?”

Ben punched him in the arm, earning a hiss from his friend, “I’m not overprotective. I just want you to stay away from her because you’re a horrible human being.”

Hux rubbed his arm and grinned, “Oh, I’m a horrible human being? May I remind you Ben that you’re the one playing her over something as stupid as an internship.”

Ben growled, “You know how important that internship is. You’re the asshole here, alright?” He jabbed his finger into his chest, “If you hadn’t gone and applied for it I wouldn’t be in this mess. You’re a shitty person for making me do this.”

Hux chuckled and smacked his hand away, “Maybe so. But I don’t care. Besides, I’ll meet her soon. I have to make sure you’re telling the truth after all.” He walked passed him, knocking into his shoulder.

Ben watched him walk off, and thought about what he said. He wasn’t exactly lying, but it didn’t mean it pissed him off even less.

“Whatever.” He muttered to himself.

“Hey, Ben!”

He turned around to hear his name called for the second time and saw the guy that was in front of Rey’s dorm when he picked her up for dinner walking towards him.

Oh, great. He was still bothered by his interaction with Hux, and he figured this was the universes way of punishing him.

“Hi. Finn, right?” He tried asking with a pleasant tone in his voice, not being able to hide the tremble that made its way out with his question. He wasn’t sure if Finn had noticed, he had a hard time reading the guy. He wondered if Finn was any good at poker.

“Hey, do you have a couple minutes?”

Of course not, he was going to be late to class. First Hux, now this guy. It seemed like the universe _did_ have it out for him.

He plastered a smile on his face and nodded, not trusting his voice to stay intact.

“So I heard you asked Rey to be your girlfriend?”

Wow, okay. He got straight to the point.

He can’t say that Finn didn’t intimidate him. He had already concluded that he was super protective of Rey, and that was going to be an issue. He would have to find a way to let her down easy when the time came so Finn wouldn’t show up and beat him up.

It’s not that he couldn’t take him. He had a good few inches on the guy, and he seemed sure that he could easily take him. Ben wasn’t a small guy, he was pretty large actually and it intimidated a lot of people. But it seemed that he didn’t intimidate Finn at all, and he knew that he could probably knock him on his ass if he was pissed off enough. Kind of like the surge of adrenaline moms get when lifting cars off their babies. Yeah, he did not want to have to deal with mommy Finn.

“Yeah, I did.” He finally answered.

Finn narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. After a few seconds he crossed his arms, “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I suggest you better watch yourself.”

Ben cocked an eyebrow, “Excuse me?”

“You don’t like her, so why are you doing this?”

Fuck. How the hell did this guy know? Did he have some super best friend powers or some shit?

Finn smirked, knowing he caught him off guard, but Ben wasn’t about to give up so easily.

“And why exactly do you think that?” He scoffed.

“Seriously? You expect me to believe that you’re head over heels with her when you never even noticed her in the library all those months ago? Why is it now that you’re suddenly so into her?”

Ben stuttered, “What, have you been stalking me? Watching me at the library ‘for months?’ How the hell do you know?”

“It doesn’t matter how I know.” Finn muttered.

Ben recognized the panic that ran across Finn’s face. Obviously it looked like Finn hadn’t meant to expose the fact that he knew Ben had frequented his time at the library. Everyone went to the library, but why did Finn make it sound like it was such a big deal?

Finally, Finn sighed and uncrossed his arms, “All I’m saying is that you don’t seem sincere. I know Rey, and I just don’t want her to get hurt. She’s been through too much.”

Ben internally groaned, “You can spare me the details of her past lovers, I don’t want to know.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

Finn suddenly looked somber, and Ben found a part of himself wanting to know why.

_“I’ve never done this before”_

That’s right. He remembered how nervous Rey was when he asked her out in the library, and wondered if she was actually telling the truth about never going out with anyone before.

Ben clenched his jaw in irritation. He doesn’t care, and he shouldn’t be curious. It’s not like he actually cares about Rey. _Right?_

Either way, he had to control the situation. He did not like where this was heading and he was starting to get anxious. He was too close to unraveling, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to act his way out of it. He needed to get the hell away from this guy, but first he’d have to defend himself. He was Rey’s best friend, and although he was irritating the crap out of him he had to convince him so he wouldn’t interfere with his plans.

“Listen, Finn. I feel like part of the reason why you’re acting this way and feel the way that you do is because you’re over protective of her.”

Finn looked offended and raised his voice, “Of course I’m over protective of her! She’s my best friend.”

“And I realize that, but I feel like you’d be acting this way if it were any guy asking her out.”

“No, I’m sure it’s just you.”

Ben wanted to groan, to walk away from this annoying conversation but forced his feet to stay planted and held his ground, “Look, I’m willing to play by your rules, okay? I respect that you’re her best friend and I don’t want to ruin anything. But I also think she would appreciate it if you trusted her enough to make her own choices.”

Finn seemed to quiet at that, and Ben knew that he was starting to realize how ridiculous he had sounded, accusing Ben of not liking Rey. Not that he was acting ridiculous; he had actually hit it right on the nail. But Ben couldn’t dwell on that.

“I do trust her, asshole. It’s you that I don’t trust.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, becoming more frustrated as time passed by, “It’s okay that you don’t trust me, but I also don’t think that it’s fair to accuse my feelings of being invalid. I like her, so I asked her to be my girlfriend. You can either choose to believe me or we can keep arguing over it.”

Finn clicked his tongue and studied Ben before responding, “Fine. I guess you’re right. But just remember that I’ll be watching. You don’t know what I’m capable of.”

And just like that he walked off, leaving Ben a little stunned.

Ben took out his water bottle from his book bag and took a huge gulp, barely realizing that his mouth was way too dry for his liking.


	4. Hello, Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Omg first off I want to apologize for taking so long to update. Honestly... I have no excuse other than the fact that life is just... yeah. But here is chapter 4! It's a little short but I hope you all enjoy it. Next chapter will be longer. Chapter named after Phum Viphurit's song "Hello, Anxiety". Thank you for the support!!

Ben was currently trying to focus on his homework, but he couldn’t seem to get his mind off the girl _sitting right across from him._

It’s not that she was distracting him, she was working on her own homework, occasionally taking sips from her sweetened and now probably very cold coffee.

No, Ben couldn’t focus because of the underlying wave of anxiety that he had started to experience ever since this whole “dating” situation had started.

It had been about a week since his date with Rey at the aquarium, and this was their first time meeting up since then. He along with Rey were so tied up with homework that they had a hard time trying to plan their next date. Rey had the idea of meeting up at a local coffee shop to study together.

Not sure if Ben even classified this as a date, they had hardly spoken since they arrived and they had been here for a little over an hour. Rey was practically glued to her laptop and hadn’t even looked up at him since they started. But to be honest, Ben could already tell when she was nervous so he was pretty sure she was avoiding having to look at him.

From what he had gathered from their brief met ups is that Rey was very shy and tended to avoid any conversation unless she was confident in the subject at hand.

Nothing out of ordinary though, Ben was the same way. He mostly kept to himself and was never quite interested in topics that didn’t entertain him. But with Rey she had a way of speaking that would peak his interest and he kind of wished that they were talking now instead of focusing on their stupid homework.

He was confident in his current classes, so he closed his laptop and cleared his throat.

She looked up and he could already see her cheeks tinting, something that he noticed happened a lot when his attention would be solely on her, “Are you done?”

Ben nodded and stretched his arms over his head, noticing how her eyes shifted from his face to his biceps. Every once in a while he would catch her checking him out and he always thought it was kind of cute how nervous and embarrassed she’d get when she’d noticed that she wasn’t being as slick as she thought she was.

“Yeah, I don’t want to overwork myself.” he answered.

Her eyes moved back to his face and she raised one of her eyebrows, “Coming from the guy that spends hours at the library.”

Ben smirked, “I’m going to tell your boss that you spend your time ogling the students at the library instead of focusing on your job.”

Rey’s eyes widened, “You know that’s not what I meant!” She stuttered, “I’m just really aware of my surroundings and you stand out, it’s hard not to notice when you’re there.”

Ben thought she looked adorable when flustered. So what? She was cute and he could at least admit that, “Oh yeah? When was the first time you noticed me? Since you’re so observant and all.”

“Oh, I guess when you asked me to print out those copies for you.” She closed her laptop and grabbed her coffee.

He chuckled, “That wasn’t that long ago. You know, you’re not as aware of your surroundings as you say you are.”

She looked down at her coffee before taking a sip, “Mmm, I guess not huh?” she murmured.

Ben found her change of tone odd and decided to change the subject, “Hey so uh, I have this friend that’s in my program. He’s throwing a party tomorrow night, you want to come with me?”

“A p-party? On a Sunday?”

Ben had said the exact same thing, but it was Hux’s idea. His stupid friend wouldn’t stop pestering him about meeting Rey and he came up with the idea of a party, and Ben agreed to it mainly to make him shut up. He’d have to take Rey as his date and convince him that she was his girlfriend. He was a little nervous about it because of the fact that his anxiety had been spiking up more and more every day, but he told himself that after convincing Hux he’d feel better. Yeah, that was it.

Then there was the fact that he’d have to break up with her afterwards.

Ben chose to ignore that for now. Yeah, he could push that aside.

“I know, but it’s not like people are going to turn down free booze. He throws parties here every now and then and I’m obligated to go cause I’m like his only friend.” Although that was truth, Ben was always surprised when Hux would throw parties. He was pretty sure he was Hux’s only friend but the guy always managed to get everyone to go to his parties even though no one seemed to like him. Yeah, for sure the free booze.

“Is he the red head that comes to the library with you sometimes?”

Ben furrowed his brows together, “Yeah, you know him?”

Rey chuckled, “Ah, no I don’t. He just, uh, stands out. You know, cause of his hair?”

Ben stared at her before nodding in agreement, “Well you’re not wrong there, he’s the oddest looking guy I’ve ever seen. And he’s super loud and annoying.”

She suddenly looked confused, “But I thought he was your friend?”

“Oh, yeah he is.” Ben realized that he probably shouldn’t be talking shit about Hux if he wanted Rey to come to the party with him, so he’d have to tone down his hatred for Rey’s sake, “We’re assholes to each other, that’s just how our friendship is.”

That was an understatement.

“So, you wanna go?”

She nibbled on her lower lip, and for a second he thought she was going to say no, before she finally nodded, “I’ll go with you, but I don’t really know anyone else on campus other than you and Finn really.”

“That’s no problem, I’ll be with you the whole time if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Her shoulders sagged in relief and he hadn’t even noticed how tense she had been before. She smiled in appreciation, “If you could? I don’t do so good in large crowds.”

He crossed his arms and leaned towards her on the table, “Why’s that?”

She shrugged, “I’ve just always kind of been by myself, you know? I’m comfortable with being alone. I guess because of that it affects how I feel when I’m around too many people.”

“I totally understand, growing up I enjoyed my own company. Hux is really the only friend I have, and even still his presence annoys the hell out of me. I honestly try not to hang out with him too much. I guess you can say that he has a strong personality.”

“Oh.”

Rey suddenly looked tense again. That’s right, he was suppose to _tone it down._ Oops.

“But he’s cool! If you feel uncomfortable at anytime through out the party we’ll leave. I just want to introduce you to him.” he added sweetly.

“Does he know, um.. that you’re in a r-relationship?”

Ben chuckled at her stutter and shot her a soft smile, “You mean, have I told my only friend that I’m dating the cute part-time librarian that caught my eye on campus?”

Rey tried to hide her shocked expression at his statement and shook her head in disbelief, “You know what I meant.”

“Yes, I told him.” he said, deciding to have mercy on her and not embarrass her any farther.

“So, you and Finn have never gone to any parties on campus?”

She took another sip of her coffee and waved her hand, “A couple, but they always ended horribly, so we haven’t been to any lately.”

“They end horribly?”

Rey tried to hide her laughter, “Well he’s absolutely crazy. I really can’t take him anywhere. He always manages to piss someone off and people always end up wanting to fight him.”

Ben chuckled along with her and took a sip from his own drink, “Is he not afraid of getting beat up? Some of these frat guys can be pretty intimidating.”

Rey scoffed, “Oh, no. They always back off when he tells them he has a black belt in karate.”

Ben almost spit out his coffee, “For real?”

“Yeah!” she said excitingly, “One time this guy came on to me and wouldn’t leave me alone. Finn saw and they got in a huge argument. In the end the guy had to have his friends help him walk to his dorms because Finn beat him up so bad.”

He _beat someone up?_

“I mean I’m not one for violence, right? But the guy wouldn’t back off and it was pretty ridiculous. Finn didn’t even get in any trouble because of the situation, but after that we kind of stopped going to parties. Mainly because people stopped inviting him and I would never go to one by myself.”

“T-that’s crazy,” he muttered, “Good thing he was there to protect you.”

“Yeah, I was really lucky.” She said, completely oblivious to the fact that Ben was literally regretting his whole existence right in front of her.

“Right… so I’ll pick you up around 8?”

“That works, I don’t have any classes early Monday morning so being out late shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Oh yeah, same.” Ben nodded. He doubted that they’d stay for long, but knowing Hux…

*

Rey hadn’t been to a party in a long time. Well, a few months. But she was amazed at how low her alcohol tolerance had gotten since she last drank. Which was when…? Oh yeah, the last time she went to a party.

She had gotten a bottle of beer from an ice cooler that some random dude brought and she was already feeling buzzed after finishing most of it.

She hadn’t planned on drinking, but her nerves were getting the best of her. Not only had she not been to any social event in a while, she was here with Ben. _Her boyfriend._ She was still having a hard time grasping the idea that she was in fact no longer single, but taken by the very handsome (and attractively large) man who up to a couple weeks ago she had only admired from a distance.

Speaking of Ben, what was taking him so long?

He had left to bring her another drink when he noticed hers was almost empty, and he’d been gone for a few minutes since.

It’s not possible that he brought her here to ditch her, right? Maybe he decided he didn’t like her and wanted nothing more to do with her? Or maybe he couldn’t stand the fact that Rey was so unbelievably awkward holding her beer in her hand and couldn’t be seen with her.

Rey shook her head. No way. There was absolutely no way. She knew him, and he would do no such thing. He was sweet, caring (attractively large), and understanding of her so far.

But that doesn’t help the fact that she’s still awkwardly standing in a corner, holding her now empty beer bottle. Rey almost wished some random person would draw up a conversation with her because lord knows she can’t do that without mentally preparing herself for at least a whole day.

She was just about to take out her phone to text him and ask where he was, before a man stood in front of her. In fact, she knew this man.

“So you’re Rey?”

She heard the red headed man say. This was Hux, Ben’s friend. He was quite handsome up close, but he looked a little… mischievous? Do people just naturally look like that?

“That’s me.” she said with a small smile.

“Ben over here tells me that you won his heart and have taken him as your betrothed?”

Rey’s eyes shot wide open, “Uhh,”

“Hux, seriously, what is wrong with you?” She saw Ben emerge from the crowd. He bumped Hux’s shoulder slightly before positioning himself next to Rey, “Don’t listen to him, he’s just trying to embarrass you like the menace he is.” he said jokingly while handing her a cold beer, taking her empty one from her hand.

Rey immediately sensed that he was tense, and taking one look at him she could tell that he seemed nervous for some reason? Was it possible he was nervous about introducing her? That would make sense, considering Hux is his only friend.

Rey put on a smile and tried to sound as friendly as she could, “You must be Hux?”

Hux smiled at her, “So you’ve heard of me?” He dramatically placed his hands over his heart and looked over at Ben, “How sweet that my dear friend has spoken about me!” He patted Bens shoulder before smiling down at her, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Rey. I must say, I’m surprised that Ben could get himself such a beautiful women. He must have really buttered you up to go out with him, plus he’s constantly talking about you.”

Rey stuttered, she wasn’t expecting that, “Oh no, Ben is great. I enjoy spending time with him.”

Hux grinned at her, “He is great, isn’t he?”

Ben took a deep breath, and clenched the empty beer bottle so hard he was surprised it didn’t crack under the pressure.

Hux seemed to notice this and couldn’t hide his chuckle, “Well Ben, you better treat this sweet girl with care!” He looked back at Rey, “Do me a favor and try to keep Ben in check for me will you? He studies so hard, it’s no wonder that he hasn’t dropped dead! And on top of that he’s working hard to secure himself an internship at one of the top law firms in the city.”

Rey looked surprised, “No way! Ben that’s great. No wonder why you’re always tucked away into your books.”

“Oh yeah,” Hux continued, “It’s the only thing he can ever talk about! Aside from you of course. He’d do anything to get in, which I’m sure he will considering how great he is at what he does.”

Rey nodded, “I’m sure he will,” she said, looking up at Ben. But he looked so uncomfortable that they could have been talking about dead puppies. She placed her hand on his chest “Hey, you okay?”

Ben blinked, then smiled down at her, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t really like being in large crowds.” he said, motioning to the large group of drunk college students surrounding them. “I think we may actually head out, if that’s okay with Rey” He said to Hux.

Rey nodded. She wasn’t a huge fan of being here either, and she didn’t need to keep drinking, that was for sure.

“Well, feel free to take some booze and continue the party at home, if you know what I mean.” Hux said with a wink towards Rey.

“Um, thanks.” Rey said hesitantly. She sensed that Hux was trying to seem nice, but she was feeling kind of weird with him there.

Ben grabbed on to Rey’s hand and nodded at Hux, “Thank’s for the invite, I’ll see you in class.”

“For sure man!” Rey heard him say as they walked through the sweaty bodies swaying to the music in the background.

She looked down and focused on the sight of her and Ben holding hands as he lead her to fresh air. Even his hands felt tense.

He said that Hux was his friend, so why did that whole encounter seem unfriendly?


End file.
